Happy 12 months and one day together my dear!! Posted from Hong Kong!!!!! :D I Love You!

sometimes..

i just hope that you would be the one to talk to me first
i hope you will not be so overwhelmed by emotions , forgetting whats right and wrong
i just hope you would not be so fed up by me
i just hope for some encouragement from you that im still doing okay as a bf

i just hope you would say "im sorry"

Bunbun~~ iloveyou :D

The only think that I pray for is:
"I just want him to be safe, so that he could be with me!"

totally

I really meant to talk things out with you, want to get to know how you think more, I want to know why would you react like that sometimes, maybe its my fault so I can find out and change for you.

but everything just ends ugly. I hate it. why must you judge me. I really love you and do everything for you, just that sometimes I need to juggle between what is right and what is wrong, its because I want this relationship better for you thats why I would ask you and talk things out with you, to tell you what I think, because thats what you told me to do.

why?

Feeling so useless. cant even make my beloved girlfriend happy.
why?
as every min passes by, the heartache just get worse.
forget it, you deserve someone better. being together with me is just a torture for you

How I wish you are beside me right now. Im sure you will be so happy. unblock2 and cooking mama were the first games i downloaded because I know you want to play them..

I LOVE YOU. I REALLY DO. I miss the times when you laugh and play with me. or even just replying to my messages.....

even before I let go of you when we hugged just now , I was already feeling disturbed since last night. the fact that you re going to work later, the fact that you will be seeing some people. I can frankly say I dont really feel good about it, but i know I have to learn to let go, I have to be stretched.

yet sometimes, when I see you feeling so bored together with me, when you asked me what can we do yet im feeling so helpless that I could not ease your boredom, I feel like shit.

I tried to contact people that I can think of , but right at the same time they are not free if not I can sense that they are not so interested to meet. these are times that I asked myself, is my existence causing you to feel all these?

I cannot forgot word for word that you typed in the bbm that time, I can remember word for word what you wrote in your blog. when I asked you that time whether is it the fact that we hang out everyday causes us to be like that, you said no.

In all these, I can only think of the times when I feel secure, and just keep quiet about how I feel..

My Dear.

I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously I feel like slamming my head against the wall! how could our 9th anniversary have slipped out of my mind! that explains why you looked so sad just now! Im really so sorry dear. I didn't mean to. I know I always say I dont mean this and that, but arghh.

I have told you, not that I dont want to stay with you dear, its just that I feel that I have been spending very little time with my mum/dad/sisters. today was my mum's off day. she was so glad to see me came home, even just for that short while! it was really a pity I had to work. at that moment I didnt feel like going to work! My mumasked whether I want to have dinner, she even offered to keep food for me, which sad to say, I cant stay for it.

There are times when my mum occasionally spurt things out of her mouth, which I understand she trying to say I'm not spending enough time with her. not to say, I have never talked to my dad for dont know how many days. Im sorry dear, Im trying to balance my life between my family, you, my commitments and work and studies and all. Its not easy but dear Im sure you know I gave you bulk of my time, I spent the most time with you.

I really didnt know how to put things across to you face to face, afraid that you will be upset again. but I hope you know it really sucks when I see you sad. you know at that moment when I saw you wrote on your blog that you are disappointed. and its alright since its not the first time. you know how heart broken I am?!!€!?! I REALLY AM!!

Dear can I make it up to you by going for a meal together next week ? after our exams ? Im really sorry dear! its my bad.

Dunno what to say currently. Many questions is going through in my mind.

I'm helpless too. I only know that I LOVE YOU.

its not difficult for me to understand you
its not difficult for me to go out with you alone, in fact i enjoyed going out alone with you
its not difficult for me to notice you more.

you wont know how much I love you

Dear why you dont want to reply me lerh...
If I've known I dont even comment on what they say now turn out you getting affected thinking I know so much about another girl?!

Dear why you still dont trust me..
Why. you know how sad am I when you ignore me everytime.
I feel like a pain in the ass

So glad that you were smiling away today. the money spent on arcade may seems silly to some, but its worth it when we both gets to enjoy it, and the smile on your face when you play is priceless..

so glad to bought ducky together with you! it has been 2 weeks since i wanted to buy a keychain so we can hang together. went to mini toons to look for it but didnt saw this current one.. hehe. may look kiddy but so? only the two of us has it.. to me its super cute!

Love you, really wish to see you smile everytime we are together. it doesnt matter how i feel, you are more important.

dear. i want to tell you how much I loveeeeeeeeee you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hehehe... your birthday is coming! i'm so excited!!!!!! im thinking of how to make you really feel Loved!!!!!! how??

i really want to cook for you because you said you want home cooked foody~ but my cooking so losuy, i scared it will be a unpleasant one for you! heehe so excited i will give you smth which i hope will really surprise you dear!!!!

also, so sorry dear these days i keep talking abt bikes:( i just get so excited at the thought of it.. hopefully dear you dont be angry.. you are always before the bike! no sweet talk its true!!! :D:D

i still remember the first time i pillion you at OCH that bend, when you were so excited when we encountered the mist.. heee. so happy that you were feeling so happy then!!!

I LOVE YOU BABY~~

I just hope to get your attention..

I WILL.

Dear, i want to tell you many things. but i really scared you will be angry. so i think i will just say it here..

I really wanted to surprise you, with the new cover. because i think it looks nicer, even though you got one, it does not harm to have another one, i thought of buying white for you, but i thought i will get green. because your favourite colour is green.but my friend say she can only tell me whether have green anot when she checks it out. i didnt wanted to tell you, because i wanted to surprise you.. seeing the surprise and happy look on your face, makes me really happy because i can put a smile on your face.

I really wanted to be the boyfriend of your dream, of your expectation. I hate it when you get upset with smth i said / do, I hate it and I feel so incompetent that I make you upset, just like today in the train when I talked about I am considering to get one for myself too so we can have similar phone and similar cover together.. even though I dont know whether there is the same cover for my model, I asked my friend to get yours first, because I wanted to cheer you up.

You are so important to me. the day when you didnt reply me on BBM, when I can't call through to you, I was so afraid! I kept turning and tossing on my bed, calling out to :" dear! where are you?!" countlessly till I decided to go out and get the sticky sweets and try my luck at Buangkok, if not your house downstairs, like how i used to go and find you when I cannot contact you that time..

Yes, 7months is not long. compared to others who dated for a year or two, ours is short. but to me, its not the duration, is what we have done together during this whole process, what we went through together as a couple. We laugh, we cried, we did almost everything together, all these forms up a beautiful part of my memory, and I will remember it for life, because it was so precious to me right now, right at this phrase of my life together with you.

everytime you get upset with me, you raise your voice at me, when you are pissed with other things, I will always try my best to make you happy again. everytime i feel down when you are not happy with me, happy moments flashes back in my mind, and I will try to talk to you nicely, try to tell you jokes, try to perk your mood up , or even at times when others say I look more like the girl in this r/s, I dont mind, I will try to make you happy even if it takes me to do so.

I really hope to last with you, and I remember always what you wrote in your letter , in your blog, that we MUST last, and we will go through everything TOGETHER.

Seriously, no words can describe how important you are to me, really.